Scott Spinelli

Scott Spinelli is the author of congratulations? and a stand-up comedian. He is currently working on his second novel, searching for (allie), and has an unhealthy obsession with lowercase letters.

Recent Articles

8 Annoying Things We All Let Our Partners Get Away With, But Never Our Friends

I've had a long-held belief about relationships that I only rant about when I'm either drunk, single or both. Last weekend, I was both. The belief, simply put, is that the only real difference between your friends and your significant others is that …
By Scott Spinelli

This Couple’s 40-Hour First Date Whirlwind Will Make You Feel Hopeful About Love

Andrea and Ricky are the type of couple that instantly piss you off. It's not because of anything they've done, though. In fact, it's actually because of all the things you haven't done... or, more accurately, the things you don't have. Andrea and Ri…
By Scott Spinelli

Why You Don't Really Know Your Partner Until You've Dated Them Through All 4 Seasons

People say you don't truly know your significant other until you've lived with them. While that's not necessarily false, I think I've come across a quicker — and more all-encompassing — method to help you fully understand your boyfriend or girlfriend…
By Scott Spinelli

Men Reveal The Reasons They Actually Enjoy Being Little Spoon And It's Pretty Cute

In the middle of what was otherwise mundane discussion between guys about sports, women and beef jerky, one of my friends divulged that he actually prefers being the little spoon when cuddling with his girlfriend. Stunned at this, I pushed him on it …
By Scott Spinelli

Why Guys Don't Care At All About Finding Someone For Cuffing Season

Recently, a friend and I chatted about his new relationship, and he described how he met the girl, how long they dated, what she looks like and how much he really enjoys being with her. I asked him if he thought this girl might be the one. And if he …
By Scott Spinelli

The 8-Year Rule: Why You Shouldn't Date Anyone 8 Years Older Or Younger Than You

In life, as in dating, there are few absolutes. For example, generally, you try to avoid people with two first names or those who abbreviate the word probably as “probs.” But you never know; that one awful abbreviator could be your soulmate. So, I'm …
By Scott Spinelli

I Finally Got With My High School Crush... 10 Years Later

Here's a plot line for you: 10 years after graduating from high school, a guy returns home for the holidays and visits a local bar where he finds and reconnects with his high school crush. As it turns out, she's also had feelings for him the whole ti…
By Scott Spinelli

My Single Dad And I Were Ghosted By Women On The Same Exact Day

My father and I were ghosted on the same day. Of course, he didn't call it ghosting. And I didn't even realize it had been on the same day until much later. But still, it bears repeating: My 68-year old father and his 29-year old son were both ghoste…
By Scott Spinelli

4 Secrets You May Want To Keep From A Date And What To Say If He Finds Them Out

Let's get one thing out of the way before we get going here, because I feel like the title of this article could give you the wrong impression. I'm not advocating for lying to the people you go on dates with. This is not an article with advice about …
By Scott Spinelli

5 Things Girls Do On Dates That Make Guys Believe There'll Be A Second One

I'm a man of simple and honest tastes. I enjoy Sour Patch Kids, the NBA, early DMX records and beef jerky so tough and spicy, it's like eating a seasoned catcher's mitt. Generally speaking, I'm a pretty direct guy, both in what I say and how I say it…
By Scott Spinelli

5 Signs A First Date Is Going Better Than You Think

My father likes to call me “Mr. First Date.” There's two reasons for this. First (and most obvious) is that I happen to have been on a decent number of first dates that haven't resulted in second dates. Second, sadly, is that my father isn't a funny …
By Scott Spinelli

The Dos And Don'ts Of Hitting On A Hot Bartender

In the most general of senses, I'm largely tone deaf when it comes to picking up signals from women. I've been known to respond “That sounds good” when asked by a frustrated girl at a bar, “Aren't you supposed to ask me out to dinner or to get drinks…
By Scott Spinelli

Why Shower Sex Is So Underrated

The perception of shower sex has really run the gamut in my time on this Earth. It seems like ever since I was aware of the concept of having coitus in the shower, I was told it wasn't a good idea. It was either too slippery, too wet (which at the ti…
By Scott Spinelli

The Case For Ditching Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties

I am the only one left. Of the eleven humans from college and high school I consider close friends, I alone remain unattached. By October of next year, they'll all be married. As I write this, five of them have kids. I qualify that because a few of m…
By Scott Spinelli

How To Properly Alienate A Woman On The First Date

I've been on a number of first dates in my life. Second dates, third dates, bad dates, good dates, meet-up-at-the-bar-and-buy-one-drink-before-we-have-sex-so-you-don't-feel-cheap dates. I've pretty much run the gamut in my 25-years and counting, and …
By Scott Spinelli