Matthew Farris

Bio

Matthew L. Farris is a 29 year old aspiring musician and writer, who drinks too much and hooks up with morally questionable women. In addition, he may act inappropriately in public, quote random song lyrics to strangers, and yell loudly at the TV inside a bar. He also may have a borderline narcissistic personality disorder.

What It Feels Like To Be The Person Who Loves Less In A Relationship

By Matthew Farris
In an ideal, fairytale-like world, relationships would always be equal. There would be an equal partnership, an equal split and an equal amount of undying love for one another. Unfortunately, this is real life, and it can suck sometimes. I've read…

3 Things You Need To Evaluate If You Have 100 Tinder Matches But No Date

By Matthew Farris
Ah, good ol' Tinder. It's the one-swipe shop for everything related to sex, dating, hooking up, etc. In the new age of technology and instant gratification, we prefer to get as much as we can with as little work as possible. So naturally, Tinder…

How To Be Honest In The Bedroom When You're Embarrassed About Your Kinks

By Matthew Farris
You know, for a generation that seems to disregard many social norms and has no problem openly displaying what it wants and likes, it seems so many people have trouble being open when it comes to sex. You probably have at least a few interesting…

I Was A 'Broken Man' Once, And This Is How I Learned To Open Up Again

By Matthew Farris
We're all troubled in some way. Nobody on this earth is perfect. We all have skeletons in the closet, dirty laundry to air out and baggage we carry with us on an everyday basis. That's part of life. That's what happens when the world keeps on…

I'll Stop Partying When I Become A Parent, But I'll Never Give Up Weed

By Matthew Farris
I know it might sound absolutely ludicrous to those of you who know me, but I want to be a parent someday. I can fully appreciate what some of you may be thinking right now. Realistically, I may be more qualified to dictate a war-torn country where…

Why I'm Willing To Try And Make It Work With A Woman I Broke Up With

By Matthew Farris
Oh, the tangled web we weave. People say an ex is an ex for a reason. If someone cheats, steals your identity, has a serious criminal record, could possibly be a threat to your well being, etc, those are certainly good reasons to live by that…

4 Reasons Taylor Swift Seems To Be The Perfect GF, As Told By A Guy

By Matthew Farris
Oh, the beauty of the celebrity crush. You fantasize about what it would be like to meet him or her. You will somehow stand out and woo him or her, and then eventually make babies with him or her, all while living in a lavish mansion you certainly…

5 Things Every Guy Needs To Remember About The One Who Got Away

By Matthew Farris
For the most part, we all have at least one. At least one person whose memory is so deeply embedded into our psyche that he or she invades more thoughts than he or she should on a daily basis. Whether it's been weeks, months or years since you've…

4 Things You Should Never Do When Hitting On A Girl At The Bar

By Matthew Farris
It's pretty much common knowledge that the bar is not the best place to meet good, wholesome, bring-home-to-mom type of girls, but if you're a single 20-something guy, chances are you spent at least a couple nights a month frequenting these fine (or…

Guys, It's Our Fault: Why Men Are To Blame For Making Women 'Crazy'

By Matthew Farris
Guys, listen up. I just had a realization, and it's a mind f*ck. I mean, a SERIOUS mind f*ck. Like an if-you-want-to-go-about-your-day-normally-stop-reading-right-now kind of mind f*ck. Yeah. I'll give you a second to decide if you want to read any…

It Works Every Time: Why Girls Should Always Make The First Move

By Matthew Farris
Oh, you took the initiative. That is sexy. There's a double standard in the dating world, or at least a complete imbalance. See, as many strides as we have made toward equality and women's rights, there is one facet that everyone seems to turn a…

Ladies, This Is Why Guys Turn Into Compulsive Liars When They Date You

By Matthew Farris
Well, this is a lesson I wish I would have learned long ago. I have broken hearts and ruined relationships, and I am the sole reason why a few women I've dated have trust issues. Don't get me wrong; I've never cheated, but I was not always honest…

29 Problems That I Definitely Should Have Outgrown By 29

By Matthew Farris
Holy f*ck, I feel old. I'm 29, but I don't feel a day over 24, physically or mentally. I'm at that age where I'm kicking the hinges off the 30s' door, and I'm not really happy about it. I've had some fantastic life experiences, I've done some sh*t…