Connor Toole

Bio

Connor Toole is Elite Daily’s Senior Humor Writer and resident giant, standing at 6’ 10”. He graduated from Boston College, where he majored in something he immediately regretted. His interests include Mark Ruffalo.

If Your Boss Acted Like Your Instagram Feed, You Wouldn't 'Like' It (Video)

By Connor Toole

Even though it might seem like a great idea in the waning moments of happy hour, your boss following you on Instagram comes with potential downsides, and all you have to do is take a look at the pictures you don't remember uploading to realize…

Grandmas Play F*ck Marry Kill With Celebrities, Rappers And Dictators (Video)

By Connor Toole

There is no shortage of games to pick from when you have too much alcohol and nothing to do. But if you want to spur some seriously intense and intelligent discussion, you don't have to look any further than F*ck, Marry, Kill. The name of the game…

No One's More Sorry Than This Grandma Who Accidentally Ate The Last Doughnut

By Connor Toole

Anyone who's lived with roommates with poor impulse control knows how frustrating it can be to go to eat a treat you set aside for yourself, only to be met with a pile of crumbs and the sense of existential sadness that comes along with having your…

You Probably Didn't Realize This Scene In 'Hey Arnold!' Was Extremely NSFW

By Connor Toole

Last summer, I woke up after a particularly long night of poor decisions and soon discovered one of those decisions was to go on Amazon at 1 am and order a box set containing every single episode of "Hey Arnold!" to ever air on Nickelodeon. I…

What If A Restaurant Made Food For You ONLY To Instagram, Not Eat?

By Connor Toole

Over the past few years, the culinary world gave birth to creations -- like rainbow bagels and over-the-top milkshakes -- that seem like they're specifically designed to garner as many likes as possible on Instagram. I recently had the opportunity…

You Can Now Enroll Your Baby In DJ School To Become The Next Calvin Harris

By Connor Toole

In the early 2000s, the geniuses behind Baby Einstein convinced an entire generation of parents their babies could be geniuses, as long as they decided to distract their children with a trademarked series of videos featuring puppets and bright…

A Bunch Of Dildos Cause Absolute Chaos After Getting Loose In A Busy Street

By Connor Toole

Russia has traditionally been one of the world's top exporters of videos featuring insane things happening on public roadways, which is partially due to virtually every driver installing a dashcam to document the accidents and incidents of insurance…

Genius Company Creates An Epic Adult-Sized Stroller For Parents To Test Ride

By Connor Toole

If you've reached the point in life where your Facebook feed has become a steady stream of pictures of babies you can't tell apart, you've likely seen plenty of proof of just how far some new parents are willing to go to make sure they're doing…

Yep, You Can Actually Buy Lipstick That Looks Exactly Like A D*ck

By Connor Toole

There's always been a surprisingly sizeable market for products resembling penises, ranging from the ever-popular drinking straws that are staples at bachelorette parties to the bags of edible phalli you can send to anyone you want to literally eat…

9 Pictures That Prove Dads Should Never Be Allowed On Social Media

By Connor Toole

There seems to be a fundamental change in the way your brain functions when you become a dad: Cargo shorts are suddenly viewed as fashionable, puns are viewed as the purest form of humor and the music of Steely Dan becomes virtually irresistible. I…