What's The Best First Message To Send A Guy On Tinder? Men Reveal Their Favorites

By
Ad failed to load

Until I joined dating apps and started seeing men kick off conversations with me with everything from "hi" to pickup lines too obscene to reprint here, I didn't even realize that men were quote-unquote "supposed" to make the first move, as dictated by decades or centuries or maybe even millennia of ingrained social norms. My mom made the first move on my dad by tapping him on the shoulder on a crowded dance floor and asking, "Don't I know you from somewhere?" (Way to go, Mom.) But outside singles' mixer dance parties in 1987, men typically send the first message on dating apps. And so when women get the ball rolling, a lot of guys really appreciate the gesture. What's the best first message to send a guy? Well, I asked a bunch of them.

According to the nine guys below, injecting a little humor into your first message is an awesome way to impress your match. Some guys vouched for the straightforward, sexual pickup line. Others recalled loving out-of-the-box, quirky statements that grabbed their attention because they were so unusual. And one even recommended messaging a simple "hey" to take the pressure off your match.

Whatever route you choose, know that sending the first message automatically makes you stand out from the crowd. And once you get into the habit of initiating conversations, you might never want to sit back passively ever again.

Ad failed to load

The line:

So, for our first date, I tried to get us reservations at the library... but they were all booked.

Why he liked it:

Ad failed to load
"Well, to start, it's a pun. It's got levity. It's cute. It's not gross. It's not boring. Sure, it's cheesy, but not TOO cheesy; more camembert, less brie. Using 'first' puts forth the innocuous assumption that, 'Hey, I maybe want this to go somewhere.' And finally, you know that adage, 'If you go home with them and they don't have any books, don't f*ck them'? A person using this line has books — or, at the very least, knows how to read. The line was so good, I've stolen it for myself."

— Ari, 24

The line:

Ad failed to load
I have a vagina.

Why he liked it:

"It was straightforward. No small talk. She expressed what she wanted by stating a fact."
Ad failed to load

— Matt, 24

The line:

Fun or future?
Ad failed to load

Why he liked it:

"It was original and I liked that she wanted to know up front what I was looking for."

— Elad, 27

Ad failed to load

The line:

I just regained my sight and the first thing I saw this match.

Why he liked it:

Ad failed to load
"I could use it as a pickup line, too. That's the perk of Bumble — no matter what, I get a girl-approved pickup line out of the match."

— Matt, 23

The line:

Ad failed to load
Hey.

Why he liked it:

"I'm a cool person, but I'm shy at first. I appreciated that she took initiative, even if it was really simple."
Ad failed to load

— Jose, 24

The line:

Can you hit me with your car?
Ad failed to load

Why he liked it:

"When was the last time someone asked you to hit them with your car? It just made me laugh. I sent her my number and we met for drinks the next weekend. She was funny. Funny is great."

— Connor, 23

Ad failed to load

The line:

You eat healthy, too. Going out to eat will be so easy! And I'd love to watch Game of Thrones with you all winter.

Why he liked it:

Ad failed to load
"It was a response to my bio. It showed promise, maybe a longing for something more than my body, and a possible companionship."

— Edwin, 26

The line:

Ad failed to load
I'm gonna ride your mustache.

Why he liked it:

"I thought it was funny."
Ad failed to load

— Nick, 24

The line:

On our first date, I’ll carve our initials into an oak tree because it’s the most romantic way to let you know I have a knife with me.
Ad failed to load

Why he liked it:

"I thought it was pretty clever, at least in my experience. We never went out, but he had my attention."

— Billy, 26

Ad failed to load

Gotta go, I'm gonna steal some of these lines for my next conversation.

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Elite Daily on YouTube
Ad failed to load

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!

Ad failed to load

Must Reads

Your Weekly Horoscope Is Here & Your World Is About To Be Filled With Sunshine

If you've had enough of the sleepy and heavy feeling associated with Taurus season, prepare yourself for a replenishing rush of fresh energy. As of May 20, the sun has officially moved into Gemini, and the weight on your shoulders will finally start …
By Roya Backlund

13 Must-Have Experiences You Should Buy In Your 20s, Instead Of A New Couch

Life is one big experience. When you hit your 20s, though, you start getting pulled in the direction of your responsibilities. It isn't totally a bad thing, but you don't want to get so wrapped into adulting that you forget life's zest. Amazing exper…
By Jasmine Vaughn-Hall

I Tried Kim Kardashian's Weird Beauty Obsession & I Can't Stop Taking Selfies

You've been there before: You're scrolling through your Instagram feed when you see your favorite celeb post about their favorite new product — a face serum, vitamins that will make your skin brighter, or a specialty food service. You can't help but …
By Stephanie Montes

Where You Should Vacation This Summer, According To Your Zodiac Sign

Summer is so much more than just sweating in 90 degree weather and enjoying a long, lazy break from school (if you're lucky enough to still be in school). It's a time for making exciting new plans, falling madly and hopelessly in love, opening your m…
By Roya Backlund

Wander or Bust: The Amalfi Coast May Just Be The Most Beautiful Thing You'll Ever See

Wander or Bust is an Elite Daily travel series that follows young women all over the globe to record their journeys as they experience the thrill of the far-flung and unknown. They'll track their budgets, where they stay, where they eat and drink, a…
By Kaylin Pound

6 Brutally Honest Phases Of Life After A Breakup, Because You Will Survive 

If you've ever been through a bad breakup, you know that the struggle is real. For the weeks (or possibly months, if it was a really bad one) that follow, life can be rough, but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Don't believe me? Just l…
By Rachel Shatto

Here's How You Can Find Out What Your Aura Color Is

Do you remember that movie Almost Famous? More specifically, the scene where William is trying to have a phone call with his mom, but a clairvoyant Band-Aid keeps shouting "Your aura is purple!" in his face? Well, that was the first time I had ever h…
By Roya Backlund

9 Women In Their 20s Reflect On The Advice They Wish They Had At Graduation

Graduating college can feel seriously scary. You've spent your entire life in school, working and preparing for the moment you enter the real world, but what happens when you get there? What if things don't go totally according to plan? You may have …
By Brittney Morgan

3 Early Signs You Are Going To Have Undeniable Chemistry With Your Crush

I don't know if there's anything better than the excitement of having a new crush — especially when that feeling's reciprocated. The butterflies that rush through your stomach as soon as they enter a room. The electricity that zips through your veins…
By Genevieve Wheeler

A Dentist Reveals The Best Times To Brush Your Teeth & It's Actually So Surprising

Do you brush your teeth twice a day? If you do, you're already way ahead of me, since I usually forget about brushing my teeth before bed at least three out of seven days of the week. I'm so bad about remembering to brush my teeth before bed, that I'…
By Caroline Burke

Emoji Pool Floats Are Here To Match Every Mood You’re In This Summer

Searching for the perfect poolside accessory to lounge around in this summer? This year’s hottest warm weather water trend isn’t a big floppy hat or designer sunglasses — it’s an emoji pool float. That’s right: Your favorite little digital expression…
By Rachel Murphy

Here's How Your Mood & Your Favorite Music Are Secretly Connected, According To Science

If you're someone who's likely to be found with ear buds in her ears at all times, you might not realize just how often you listen to music, or the ways in which it's really affecting you. From your morning commute to the tunes you blast while you co…
By Caroline Burke

This Is How Long It Takes For A Partner To Really Trust You, According To Experts

Trust is easily one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship, but typically, it's not something that's fully there from the start because it takes some time to build. How long it takes for a partner to trust you is a question that doesn'…
By Tayi Sanusi

7 Things You Forgot To Thank Your High School Friends For & Should ASAP

Friends are a dime a dozen, but a solid, genuine group of girlfriends can be difficult to come by. When you find your tribe, you need to stick with them until the end. For some lucky people, your high school friends have been your besties since day o…
By Rachel Chapman

These 3 Zodiac Signs Will Have The Best Week, So Bask In The Glory

It's officially the second week of May, and the warmth of spring has finally arrived. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and the bright weather is allowing everyone to finally break out their favorite pair of shorts. If you think the gorgeou…
By Roya Backlund

7 Men Reveal What Attracted Them To Their Last Crush & They'll Make You Swoon

He reminded me of Nate Archibald from Gossip Girl. That's legitimately what I found appealing about my most recent crush. Sorry, but it doesn't get any deeper than that. In other instances though, when I'm not trying to live out my lustful, adolescen…
By Sydnee Lyons

A Relationship Expert Reveals His Long-Distance Relationship Survival Guide

"Long-distance relationships are extremely relaxing and easy to navigate," said no one in a long-distance relationship ever. Whether you are bicoastal babes or a quick two-hour train ride apart, distance makes the heart grow fonder, but it also makes…
By Kimmy Foskett

How To Start Reading Tarot When You Have No Clue Where To Begin

I've been practicing tarot almost daily as part of my self-care routine for years. My favorite part of the day is putting on a face mask, pouring myself a blushing mimosa or some coffee, busting out a few crystals, and sitting down to spend a little …
By Minerva Siegel

7 Questions You Should Be Able To Answer About Your Life By The Time You Hit 30

Nobody has all of the answers in life, but you're probably pretty proud of yourself for how far you've come. Somewhere along the way, some of us got the hang of adulting and began to appreciate the unexpected things that come with being 20-something.…
By Marisa Casciano
)}