New flash: Brushing your lips against the lips of someone you find attractive is super fun. The blood-pumping anticipation that precedes a makeout session is chock-full of nerves and giddiness. But how long should a makeout last if you really want to seal the deal and leave someone with a lasting impression? As with most things, there is no golden rule, but there is definitely a sweet spot to aim for.
Now, for those of you rolling your eyes and thinking isn't partaking in scandalous makeout sessions as the main entree, only for tweens with raging hormones?
Well, I am here to tell you that you are unequivocally wrong. Once you've started venturing off into the more "advanced" aspects of sex and foreplay, it can be easy to forget about how spine-tingling an extended lip-lock can be in its own right. Plus, a good makeout session is a great way to test the chemistry with someone without committing to a sexual encounter that could wind up leaving much to be desired. Spoiler alert — it's pretty safe to assume that a great kisser is probably great at a whole lotta' other things, too.
But, if your first kiss with someone wasn't the best, according to author and dating coach Susan Winter, this can actually be a good sign. “If the kiss was a little awkward, that's a clear indication that he or she likes you. They had a lot at stake," explains Winter.
If you're the mysterious type, then it's also a great way to finish off a date if you're not quite ready to hand over the goods but want to leave them wanting more. Although the duration of a kiss is certainly not something you should stress about, here are lengths of time to shoot for depending on how much sexual tension you want to build.
Needless to say, 30 seconds can seem pretty short when it comes to a passionate lip-lock. However, according to Winter, if your date goes in for a "normal" kiss, this could mean their intentions are a bit more genuine.
“The partner who doesn't want to startle you but wants to establish romance as the basis for your connection will opt for a meaningful, yet potent kiss on the lips,” she says. "If your goal is a relationship, don't dismiss a normal kiss."
On the other hand, three minutes can definitely feel a bit more intense and sexy if you want to give them an ever-so-small sampling of what's to come without getting too hot and heavy.
Personally, I find anywhere between four and ten minutes to be a a good amount of time if you don't have any intention of letting things get more intimate later on. It's just enough time to get into a rhythm and fan the flames while still calling it quits before tearing each others clothes off. Plus, let's be real — any longer than ten minutes, and dry mouth and jaw stiffness can start to make things a little less sexy, tbh.
And if that isn't reason enough to keep things a bit wet, so to speak, research shows that testosterone released through saliva may have a pretty significant impact on choosing a suitable partner and igniting the female sex drive.
Now, for my marathon-maker-outers who could legit keep things going forever, 20 minutes might not sound all that long. But chances are, once you've reached the 20-minute mark, you both are going to be ready for a bit more action. Assuming there is some chemistry there, it's pretty unlikely that making out for this long will have any bad effects on your connection, so if you're both vibe-ing, then by all means, have at it.
Just please remember to stay hydrated. Seriously. Especially if you've been drinking, making out with a dry, sandpaper tongue isn't cute.
Like most other intimate behaviors, there are very few hard and fast rules — different strokes for different folks. If making out for three hours sounds like true bliss, then I'm certainly not here to tell you otherwise. Just remember —breath mints are your friend. And if you want some brownie points, then don't forget the chapstick.
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