Even in 2017, the average man still seems to have a reputation for wanting to sow his wild oats for longer than his female counter part. This begs the question: At what age do men want a relationship?
Now, of course, it goes without saying that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to answering questions about an entire gender. But naturally, this doesn't stop us from wondering when the majority of men click into high-gear and decide they are ready for a meaningful relationship. I can't even count how many times one of my friends has lamented the fact that the guy she's seeing just doesn't seem as focused and/or invested in the relationship as she is. Which, let's face it, doesn't feel great.
For some women, what at times feels like a widespread maturity gap has led them to seek out older men. This is not to say that dating an older man guarantees that they are relationship ready. But as a woman who made the conscious decision to avoid dating men my own age, I personally found the difference was like night and day — the sweet spot landing anywhere in between late 20s and early 30s, depending on the guy.
According to Naisteter, when any one man is ready to start focusing on relationships has a lot to due with their culture and, surprisingly, what city they currently live in. "As a matchmaker in Philadelphia, we find men who start to get serious as early as 28! But across the board, the so called 'male clock' can turn on all sorts of ages," says Naisteter.
The belief that men and women of the same age are often mismatched when it comes to relationship readiness could partially be due to the fact that typically, female brains mature quicker than male brains, and maturity is a crucial part of being in a healthy, balanced relationship.
Naisteter explains that another common reason men often want more serious relationships later on is because they have the luxury of time. Women have to start thinking about family plans much earlier, thanks to the fact that the female biological clock is ticking much faster than a man's.
"As a dating coach, I usually see men start to take relationships seriously in their early to mid 30s," says Resnick.
But before you swear on men your own age, the good news is that this very well may be changing. "There has been a growing trend of men in their late 20's who are starting to get interested in finding something more lasting than a typical tryst," says Resnick.
So it would seem like the late 20s to early 30s window is about right.
For all my ladies out there who aren't necessarily comfortable dating someone more than a couple of years older, but still want a meaningful relationship in their early twenties, it's important to remember that there are always exceptions to the rule. Like Naisteter said, the male biological clock can turn on at any time — and who's to say that meeting someone they are really compatible with can't trigger this shift?
Both Resnick and Naisteter agree that if you're seeing someone but aren't sure if they're ready for a relationship, just ask! Starting these types of conversations can feel a bit intimidating, but at the end of the day, if they like you and want to keep seeing you with the knowledge that you want to take things to the next level, it's up to you to listen to their words and actions once you've made your desires known. Life's too short to chase guys who aren't ready for the same type of relationship you are.
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