You don't mind when your best friend blows up your phone. Honestly, if she doesn't send you a novel-length series of texts, tag you in a dozen memes, or ping you on Facebook Messenger and Gchat simultaneously, are you even friends? But when it comes to communicating with a bae you just recently met or matched with, the rules are different. Double texts can be annoying. Or you might not mind them, but only under certain circumstances.
Here, 13 women tell Elite Daily how they really feel about getting hit with multiple texts back-to-back.
Most people agreed that it's fine and normal to send new sentences in separate texts — like, one text bubble per thought. A lot of people noted that pretty much anything goes if they're really into someone. And everyone emphasized that a stream of texts after you've already made it clear you're not interested in anything is just a simple "no."
If you're searching for hard rules about how to text a woman, well, sorry. I can't offer you that. Nobody can. Everyone has their own set of preferences, and even those can change depending on their mood, the context of the conversation, their interest level, the platform (iMessages vs. Instagram DMs), and a million other factors. If you're feeling lost, take a close look at how the lady in question texts (long paragraphs or short bites?) and mirror her tactics.
But for a general consensus, keep reading. These 13 women won't let you down.
This Woman Loves Getting Double Texts
I’m someone who texts in multiples by nature, so this trips me up a lot. I use a new or double text as a form of punctuation like old-school AIM convos and Gchats. Because of this, I am grateful for the gods who invented time stamps. My favorite thing ever is when a dude texts me and then sends another text five or 10 minutes later. Sometimes, the follow-up text is a way of keeping the convo going. Other times, I think he's questioning what he said and needing to clear the air or change the subject, or just follow up because he's obviously in love with me. I get a huge thrill.
— Elle, 29
Don't Even Consider Double Texting This Woman If She's Not Into You
My thoughts on double texts from guys are admittedly blatantly flawed and arguably hypocritical. First and foremost: I need to admit that I am the worst double texter of all time. I not only will send bouts of messages, one right after the other, mid-conversation, but I also see no problem with texting a guy after a delay in messaging... even if I'm the one who sent the last text. Basically, if I like a guy, I'm all in. In this day and age, when our phones are essentially an appendage, I wouldn't want to be with a guy who found my willingness to be conversational annoying.
Now. Here's where it gets messed up/hypocritical/downright cruel: if a guy I'm NOT interested in double texts me, I will audibly groan and roll my eyes. Like, I will have a physical reaction to the mere act of a human being having the audacity to ask if I'm having a fun night.
On the flip side, if it's a guy I'm into, a double text wouldn't even register as a 'thing' to me. I wouldn't think of it as, 'Oh, he sent another text, he must be super obsessed with me.' Instead, I'd think of it as, 'OK, this guy likes me and we're chatting like human beings.'
As long as I'm into a guy, double texts don't mean anything to me. But if it's with a guy I'm not interested in, I view it as the biggest inconvenience in the entire world.
— Catie, 26
This Woman Agrees — It Depends On Her Interest Level
It's not a big deal if I'm interested in them! Sending double texts is kind of cute, actually, as long as it's not a consistent thing.
On the flip side, when I've clearly told someone I'm not interested in them and they continue to send the 'hey' text over and over again, that really creeps me out. It also makes them look incredibly desperate.
— Mikayla, 21
It All Comes Down To A Connection IRL
If we vibed IRL, I don't really care about double texting. I'm also someone who sends larger texts broken up into smaller bursts, so it doesn't bother me if someone does the same.
— Simone, 23
Some Women DGAF, As Long As You're Not Playing Games
I don't think I would mind. I hate when people play games with texting... I think we all do it at times, but I don't treat my friends that way, so why would I treat a potential significant other that way?
— Sarah, 27
This Woman Loves It — A Lot
I love it when someone double texts me! It shows their personality and to me, they seem excited to talk to me and tell me things. However, I really hate it when a guy blows up my phone with 10 texts at once. If I'm busy and he texts me over and over again, then that really annoys me. I don’t mind my girlfriends blowing up my phone with like five or six texts at once. But guys? Nope.
— Catherine, 22
Double Texts Are NBD, Unless They Get Super Aggressive
It's not a big deal at all for me personally, if used the right way — like if they didn't finish a thought. I don't even notice. But if we're messaging and I don't respond for 20 minutes and they send a bunch of 'You there?" texts, then that doesn't fly. Too needy, too quick.
— Isabel, 21
Spacing Out Texts Can Work As Punctuation
I think about a double text as taking a pause within a speech. If done within a short time frame, it could provide emphasis to a specific text.
— Mandy, 20
This Woman Never Over-Thinks It
I don't mind at all when people double text me. I understand the stigma and I've seen the memes but, honestly, I wish more people just said what they really meant these days. I think the apps (iMessage included) and all the unspoken rules that come with them have made things unnecessarily complicated.
— Sydnee, 25
Double Texts Can Be Pulled Off With Kindness
It depends on a lot of factors — mostly how cute the person is and what their messages are. Obviously, a pickup line followed by, 'F*ck you, b*tch,' if I don't reply fast enough is not going to be well-received. Neither is 'hey' followed by 'hey.' But if it's a nice compliment followed by an interesting question or an invitation to something, some people can pull that off.
— Jocelin, 24
This Woman Doesn't Want To Be Bombarded With Texts From Near-Strangers
If I receive multiple texts in a row from someone I barely know, it definitely freaks me out a bit, and could come across as desperate.
— Hannah, 20
What About Talking On The Phone
I get super annoyed [by double texts]. It's really thirsty, to be honest, and I think texting takes away from the social aspect of conversation. But I'm old-fashioned and like phone calls. It's funny, if you 'double texted' someone and said two things in a row over the phone, it wouldn't be weird at all.
— Tess, 23
TBH, It Depends On The Circumstances
It totally depends on the amount of time between messages (one day is very different from 10 minutes) and the content of the messages. I would tolerate it more from someone I was super attracted to than someone I was iffy about. Unless the text really rubbed me the wrong way or was straight-up aggressive, I would respond.
— Shannon, 24
While everyone's texting style is a little bit different, one thing is clear: You're not gonna blow up your future with someone who likes you just because you sent two texts in a row. Go forth and send — no one will care.
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