When I first started dating, I was terrible at reading the other person. It wasn't because I was incapable of picking up on all the signs they just want to hook up that they were putting down, but because I treated every date like it was an hour-long comedy set. I was so concerned about being the most fun and hilarious date ever that I never stopped to consider what their intentions were. Did they actually want a relationship? Or just to make my pants disappear? Was I just wasting all my best first date material? As a result, I came away from every date thinking they had a great time, but I had absolutely no idea of how they felt about me beyond that.
It was a hard lesson, but eventually, I did learn to ease back on the comedy show a bit and really spend some time observing my date. As it turned out, if you aren't always looking for the punchline, there is a lot you can pick up about how they feel about you pretty quickly on a first date. So, what are some sure, telltale signs that they are really just interested in hooking up that you can recognize on the first few dates you have with someone? Here are some things to watch out for.
If your date can't keep their hands to themselves, it's a pretty clear indication that they are focused on getting physical with you as quickly as possible. I’m not talking about a gentle hand on your lower back or touching your hands; I’m talking about the date that goes into full octopus mode. As Susan Ball, self-love activist and author of Courage and Grace: From Broken to Blissful, the Journey of Building Joy During Your Recovery from Abuse, told Elite Daily, if "you're out together, and he constantly wants to kiss you, rub you, grope you, and tells you he can't wait to get all naked," take that as a big sign they're only in hookup mode. She continued, "If he is not talking to you about anything other than sex or making advances on you that are not playful, but outright sexual, he is only interested in one thing."
Ever been on a date and realize halfway through it that the other person hasn't asked you a single personal question? Well, that’s not a great sign. In fact, according to dating expert Mark Stefanishyn, that usually only means one thing: They aren't interested in learning "what makes you tick."
"If his eyes glaze over every time you start talking about your love of knitting, if he always turns the subject back to how great he is at 'Call of Duty,' or if it just never really feels like you have his full attention, then chances are, he's not interested in moving forward," he told Elite Daily. "If a man wants a relationship, he naturally wants to know who you are and what you are up to."
Love at first sight sounds romantic, but if your date is instantly catching feelings and can't stop telling you about them, it’s time for a healthy dose of side-eye. Folks who try and lay it on too thick right from the start are likely to have ulterior motives. That's why Ball warns that if they start saying things like, "I've never met anyone like you baby; we are going to be together forever. I love you," right away, it’s time to head for the nearest exit, because they might only be saying those things to get you in their pants.
Of course, if you have an inkling that your date might only have a one-track mind, but the signs seem unclear, there's no harm in being up front about what you're looking for, and asking if they're interested in the same. That way, you don't waste your precious time with someone who isn't serious about you.
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