How I Really Feel About Your Engagement News On Facebook

To All of My Facebook Friends Who Just Got Engaged,

I understand you’ve been dating your significant other for five years (or six months) and you’re madly in love, and you’ve just received a $4,000 diamond ring that you just have to show off to everyone you know because ohmygod, you’re engaged (!!!).

But, forgive me if I unfriend you because I’m sick of it. It’s not that I’m not happy for you, because I am.

You’ve found the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with and that is a difficult feat, so good for you.

However, you’re missing the point. The engagement isn’t about the ring or the photos or the location or the 288 likes. It’s about you and your significant other. Don’t you want it to be a private moment?

My future fiancé better not propose to me in a public place. I do not want strangers snapping photos of that moment and posting them to the Internet. I do not want a big, elaborate, “I love you” floating in the sky for everyone in the city to see.

I do not want a fancy dinner with a random waiter, holding a bottle of champagne and smiling at me awkwardly. And, most importantly, I do not want my friends or family members hiding in a bush with a camera.

Why would you want that? Seriously, I don’t understand. It’s not about them. Don’t you want it to be a quiet and special moment?

And, after it happens, don’t you want to be able to enjoy it for at least a few hours, maybe even a day — yes, a whole day -- before the whole world finds out on Facebook?

You used to be so normal and so practical, until he proposed. Now, suddenly, you're obsessed with diamond rings, engagement photos, “I love you” statuses and Pinterest boards.

We all knew you were going to “say yes!” so stop talking about it like it’s a big surprise; you’re being ridiculous.

I know you’re excited and overwhelmed and emotional and anxious to trim down for your “dream” day, but please, please, please stop acting like your engagement is a one-year-long party that everybody has to attend -- it’s not.

It’s not about you. It’s about the man or woman you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with, so stop focusing on the bachelorette party. It’s not like you haven’t gotten wasted with your best friends before.

Do you really want your friends to pull from their savings accounts just so you can go to Vegas and recreate a weekend from college? Get over yourself.

And, I know it’s going to be difficult, but try to remember that your friends are young – and probably broke – and they don’t want to spend $200 on an ugly dress you picked out. Be considerate; you’re not the first person to get married, and you won’t be the last.

If there’s one thing on which you should focus, it’s the marriage -- not the engagement, not the white dress, the diamond ring, the nail colors that match best and not the “dream wedding,” but the actual day-to-day marriage.

You’ve accepted the ring, yes, but do you accept the man or woman and everything that goes along with your marriage to him/her, like the financial difficulties or the simple fact that your two families are about to become one?

You better make sure you’re in it for the right reasons because the dress, the weather and the guest list won’t matter ten years from now when you’re waking up next to your spouse and deciding who’s going to drive the kids to school.

So, friends, congratulations on your engagements!

Best of luck, Your Unmarried Friend

PS: Stop asking when I’m getting engaged. When it happens, you’ll be the last to know!