I don't know about you, but I honestly can't remember the last time I actually used my phone as, like, a phone... because texting. Who calls when texting is an option? And the best kind of texting has got to be when you're texting with a new crush. Hearing the ping or feeling the vibration of a new message coming in? Glorious. But occasionally you hit the dreaded conversational lull. In those moments, it's good to have some deep questions to ask your crush over text — something that will kickstart the conversation and give you a chance to get some real insight in who they are beyond that cute face.
Some of these questions might be hard to ask, particularly face-to-face, which is what makes texting them even better. You have that sense of safety and comfort that comes from being behind a screen to help make you bold. And since they have to write the reply, it's likely you will get a well thought-out answer.
Personally, I live for these kinds of conversations; small talk is my nemesis. So I have some practice asking deep, probing questions. Here are 13 things I recommend you ask your crush if you are really trying to get to know them and find out if there is potential for more.
This question is great because not only can you get a glimpse into the things they enjoy doing, you can decide if they are things you'd like to do as well. For instance, if someone says their perfect day is scaling Kilimanjaro, I'm out. However, if they say drinking cocktails on a private beach, I am so in.
Who doesn't enjoy a good ol' humble brag? But seriously, not only do you get to learn something nice about your crush, but you get a peek at their values. The kinds of things give them a sense of pride can be very telling. Is it their rock-hard abs, or that time they rescued a kitten from a burning building?
Side note: If someone answers “saved a kitten from a burning building,” give him my number, 'kay thanks.
I mean, you wanna know as soon as possible, right?
This can be anything from jumping out of a plane or falling in love. Either way, this is just good info to have.
Find out if this is an adventure you'd have any interest tagging along on.
This one's a biggie. If you are really serious about this crush, you need to know about their spiritual beliefs and what it means for how they live their lives. Do they go to mass three times a week? Or do you? Y'all need to get on the same spiritual or non-spiritual page.
Knowing who your partner is willing to open up with is a big deal. Is it mom? Their bestie? Or, uh oh, their ex?
Not only do you get a glimpse into your crush's potential future, but you can see if they are realistic and doing the things they would need to in order to achieve those goals. Or if they are a dreamer who has totally impossible plans for their life.
This can be as simple as thinking Suicide Squad was a great movie or as deep as not believing in the institution of marriage.
This one may surprise you. If they suddenly start bringing up “biological differences” that make the genders unequal, that may be code for more deeply held beliefs. Either way, you get to decide if you can live with their answer.
If you're thinking you may want to get into a romantic relationship with someone, you need to know about their values. Are they in line with yours? If they believe in strict adherence to gender roles and you don't, it's better to know that right away.
This one seems pretty obvious, but expectations about their vision of an ideal relationship is a key part of knowing if you compatible. What do they expect from their partner? What role to they envision that person will fill? What dynamic will they find fulfilling? Does it sound like you? These are all things you need to know before considering moving forward with them.
Come on, this is the one you really wanted to ask anyway, right? So ask it.
If your crush opens up and answers these questions, you are well on your way to really getting to know them. Got any other great questions to text your crush? Leave them in the comments.
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